First of all, I’ve never been necessarily good at writing. Well to be more specific I never LIKED writing. I’ve never had a diary, I never write letters, and I despise having to write thank you notes. I always thought that nothing in going on in my life was even important enough to take note. We all read stories of people’s lives that are meant to inspire others. How can a girl like me inspire anyone?
One thing that sets me apart from most typical teenage girls is that I don’t like to talk about myself. Which is probably a large contributing factor to the fact that I never kept a diary. But in my junior year of high school I finally realized how just how unhealthy that was. I realized that I knew everything about my friends and they knew nothing about me. I went to an all girls Catholic high school where everyone dressed the same, took the same classes, and all had the same dedication to school. How was I supposed to stand out when it was so easy to blend in? I was average at sports, had average grades, and just looked average.
Average.
I was also infamous for being very quiet. I was often greeted with the question “Why are you so quiet?” A question I would always answer in the same way, “I just have nothing to say.” It was my go to and it seemed to work.
Junior year I finally broke down. I looked around and realized although I had many close friends, I had no one to TALK to. Sure my friends and I could talk about boys and funny stories but what about when I needed to talk about something personal. Something that I thought no one would want to hear. I know it sounds cliché but all those thoughts just built up inside and I exploded. Literally. I screamed, cried, and whatever else comes to mind when you think of meltdown. After blending in for so long I just wanted to be heard. So what better way to be noticed than to go on stage and sing?
I tried out for the elite singing group apart of my choir just for fun. And I made it…..
None of my friends even realized I could sing and I guess I didn’t either. Being on stage was terrifying to me. Our first performance as a group was in front of the whole school and of course I had a solo. It was the most electrifying experience of my life. Yes its daunting to have thousands of people staring at me but they were listening. I guess you could say it was my new equivalent to screaming.
Singing became my outlet. It was how I could scream without breaking down. I put my whole being into becoming a better singer. I wanted that opportunity to go on stage and have people listen.
And there you have it. My hard work paid off and got me into SMU music school with a scholarship. I intend to keep working hard to be heard in a whole new setting to captivate tens of thousands of people so they can watch me scream.
spencermcorbett 